Blog
July 2nd, 2025
Breaking Free from Symptom Cycles: Understanding Your Body-Mind Connection
Have you ever noticed how some symptoms seem to stick around long after the original illness has passed? Maybe you had a virus months ago, but you're still dealing with crushing fatigue. Or perhaps a stomach bug left you with ongoing digestive issues that just won't quit. If this sounds familiar, you're not alone and, more importantly, there's a scientific explanation for what's happening.
The Hidden Cycle That Keeps You Stuck
Here's something that might surprise you: what started your symptoms is not necessarily what's keeping them going. Once you begin experiencing unwanted symptoms like fatigue, pain, gut problems, brain fog, or anxiety, your body undergoes a significant shift that can create cycles that trap you in ongoing discomfort.
But here's the empowering truth: you can learn to understand and interrupt these cycles.
What Are Psychobiological Loops?
Think of your body and mind as partners in an intricate dance. When you're unwell, this partnership can sometimes get stuck in unhelpful patterns called "psychobiological loops."
Here's how it works. Let's say you had a viral infection that depleted your immune system. As your body works overtime to recover, other systems become stressed trying to compensate. Your brain receives chemical messages about this internal struggle and responds by triggering what scientists call "sickness behavior."
This evolutionary response was designed to protect you, making you want to rest, withdraw, and conserve energy when you were vulnerable. In our ancestors' world, this prevented them from being attacked when they couldn't defend themselves. But in today's world, this same response can lead to isolation and increased stress.
And here's where the loop begins: feelings of isolation and pressure activate your brain's threat centres, including the hypothalamus. This kicks your nervous system into high gear, potentially causing more anxiety and agitation, which further depletes the very systems trying to help you heal.
The Good News: You Have More Control Than You Think
The exciting reality is that once you understand these psychobiological loops, you can start to interrupt them. You can make informed choices about how to respond to your symptoms in ways that support healing rather than perpetuate the cycle.
Your Path Forward
- Learn About Your Loops Start by understanding how psychobiological loops specifically apply to your symptoms. Every person's experience is unique, and recognising your particular patterns is the foundation for change.
- Discover Tailored Strategies Learn evidence-based techniques designed specifically to interrupt these cycles. Generic advice rarely works, you need strategies that address the specific way your body and mind interact.
- Practice and Track Progress Like any skill, breaking these cycles takes consistent practice. Celebrate small wins and track your progress over time.
Ready to begin? Here's a simple but powerful exercise you can try right now:
Choose one uncomfortable symptom you experience regularly. For the next few days, pay attention to how you automatically react when it appears. Notice if you have an urge to:
- Distract yourself (scrolling social media, binge-watching shows)
- Analyse endlessly (researching symptoms online, catastrophizing)
- Find an immediate fix (taking supplements, trying every remedy)
- Seek reassurance (calling friends, posting in health forums)
- Completely withdraw (canceling plans, avoiding activities)
- Push through defiantly (ignoring your body's signals, overexerting)
Once you identify your go-to reaction, take a few minutes to write about this question: How might this automatic response actually feed into the very cycle that's keeping your symptoms active?
This simple awareness exercise is often the first step toward breaking free from patterns that no longer serve you.
You're Not Powerless
Remember, experiencing these cycles doesn't mean you're weak or doing something wrong. Your body and mind are simply following patterns that once served a protective purpose. The beautiful thing about being human is that we can learn, adapt, and create new patterns that better serve our current needs.
Your symptoms may have started with a physical trigger, but your healing journey can be empowered by understanding the intricate dance between your biology and psychology. You have more influence over your experience than you might realise; and that's where your power to transform lies.
Keywords: health, wellbeing, psychobiology, holistic
June 14th, 2025
The Surprising Difference Between Compassion and Empathy (And Why It Matters for Your Wellbeing)
Ever felt completely drained after trying to help someone? You might think you're experiencing "compassion fatigue," but here's the twist: true compassion might actually be the cure, not the cause.
What We Get Wrong About Compassion
Most of us use "compassion" and "empathy" interchangeably, but they're actually quite different—and understanding this difference could transform how you care for others (and yourself).
The Four Elements of True Compassion
Real compassion isn't just feeling bad for someone. It's made up of four key parts:
- Awareness - Noticing when someone (including yourself) is suffering
- Kindness - Approaching that suffering with warmth and gentleness
- Shared connection - Recognizing that suffering is part of being human, not a personal failing
- Motivation to help - Actually wanting to do something about it, within your capacity
Notice what's missing? The overwhelming distress that often comes with empathy.
The Parent and the Sick Child: A Tale of Two Responses
Let me paint you two pictures to show the difference:
The Empathy Response
Your child has a terrible migraine. They're crying, writhing in pain, begging for it to stop.
In the empathy response, you feel their pain as if it's your own. You start crying too. When the doorbell rings, you get angry and stomp to the door because the noise might hurt their head more. You pace around frantically, hug them tightly (even though they feel overwhelmed), and your own distress fills the room.
Your child, already in pain, now has to deal with your distress too. They can't tell where their crying ends and yours begins. Instead of feeling comforted, they feel more anxious and overwhelmed.
The Compassion Response
Same situation, but this time you respond with compassion.
You see your child's pain and feel a deep wish to help them feel better. Yes, you feel sad, but that sadness isn't the main event. Instead, you focus on what they need. You speak calmly, dim the lights, bring water to their bedside, and sit with them as a steady, reliable presence. When their sobs increase, you offer to breathe together, helping them find moments of calm.
Your own feelings are there, but they're not taking up all the space. Your child feels held and safe, even in their pain.
Why This Matters for Your Body and Mind
Here's where it gets really interesting: compassion actually regulates your nervous system, while empathy can dysregulate it.
Research shows that when we feel empathy, our brains light up in areas associated with distress and pain. We literally feel stressed. But when we practice compassion, something beautiful happens:
- Areas of the brain associated with positive feelings become active
- Our parasympathetic nervous system (the "rest and digest" mode) kicks in
- Heart rate variability improves and heart rate lowers
- We feel calmer and more regulated
In simple terms: compassion helps your body feel safe, while overwhelming empathy can trigger your stress response.
The Self-Compassion Connection
This applies to how you treat yourself too. There's a huge difference between:
- Empathetic self-focus: "I'm so sad and everything is terrible and I can't handle this" (ruminating on your suffering)
- Self-compassion: "I'm in pain right now, and that's okay. I can meet this pain with kindness and care" (acknowledging pain while staying warm toward yourself)
One keeps you stuck in distress; the other helps you regulate and move forward.
But What About Caring?
You might be thinking, "If I don't feel their pain deeply, doesn't that make me cold or uncaring?"
Not at all. Compassion can be fierce - it's the difference between drowning alongside someone and throwing them a life preserver from solid ground. When you're regulated and calm, you're actually more capable of providing meaningful help.
The Practical Difference
When you're overwhelmed by empathy:
- You absorb others' emotions as your own
- You feel powerless and drained
- Your own stress response activates
- You might avoid helping because it feels too overwhelming
When you respond with compassion:
- You stay grounded while caring deeply
- You can think clearly about how to help
- Your nervous system stays regulated
- You have more capacity to actually be useful
A Simple Practice to Try
Instead of diving headfirst into someone's pain, try this approach:
- Notice the suffering (theirs or yours)
- Breathe and stay grounded in your own body
- Remind yourself that suffering is part of the human experience
- Ask what would truly be helpful right now
- Act from a place of calm caring rather than anxious distress
The Bottom Line
True compassion isn't about feeling everything as intensely as possible. It's about caring deeply while staying grounded enough to actually help. It's the difference between being swept away by the current and being the steady rock someone can hold onto.
Your nervous system - and the people you care about - will thank you for learning this distinction. Remember: This isn't about becoming cold or distant. It's about becoming more skillfully caring, in a way that actually serves both you and others better.
Keywords: wellbeing, compassion, empathy, reflection, balance, holistic, psychology, mental health, health psychology
June 10th, 2025
Why "Doing Nothing" Might Be Stressing You Out: The Hidden Activities That Drain Your Energy
How has your week been? What's the first word that comes to mind? Keep that thought - we'll come back to it.
The "I Don't Do Much" Myth
"I don't really do much," clients tell me all the time when I ask about their daily activities. But here's the thing: when we dig deeper, I discover they're actually doing far more than they realise.
When I ask people to track their "doing nothing" time, guess what? It's rarely actually nothing.
The Invisible Energy Drains
Here are some common "doing nothing" activities that actually impact how safe and calm your body feels:
- Thinking (yes, just thinking!)
- Parenting conversations and decisions
- Talking with partners, family, or friends
- Admin tasks like emails and bills
- Household chores
- Cooking
- Commuting
Notice something about this list? Every single one of these activities can either feel neutral and manageable, or completely draining - depending on your mindset, energy levels, and what else is going on in your life.
The good news? Since these activities make up so much of our daily lives, we have plenty of opportunities to shift them from energy-draining to energy-neutral (or even energy-giving).
The Two Ends of the Spectrum
Type 1: The Cautious Approach
Maybe you've scaled back your activities because you're worried about making symptoms worse or feeling overwhelmed. This makes perfect sense - it's protective and sometimes necessary.
But here's the catch: when "doing less" becomes your default mode, your body starts to interpret most activities as potentially threatening. You become more sensitive to stress, and even small tasks can feel overwhelming. It's like your body's alarm system becomes overly sensitive.
Type 2: The "I Just Get On With It" Approach
On the flip side, maybe you're someone who prides themselves on just pushing through. You might say, "I'm not particularly stressed - I just get on with things."
But consider whether any of these sound familiar:
- You don't pause to acknowledge the emotional side of challenging situations
- You often feel frustrated with yourself or your abilities
- You find it hard to stop, relax, or wind down
- You frequently push through brain fog or mental fatigue
- You only recognise stress when physical symptoms force you to pay attention
If you're nodding along, your body might be experiencing more stress than your mind realizes.
Why Your Brain is More Tiring Than You Think
Here's a surprising fact: thinking uses about 20% of your body's total energy. Your brain runs primarily on glucose, and during intense mental work, it burns through this fuel quickly, leading to fatigue.
This means that even "just" thinking, planning, or problem-solving all day can leave you as drained as physical exercise. Ever notice how after a mentally demanding day, you don't want to leave the house, talk to anyone, or cook dinner? That's your body trying to balance things out by forcing rest in other areas of your life.
The Boom-and-Bust Cycle
Many of us live in a pattern of pushing hard, then crashing. We go full speed until our body forces us to stop through:
- Brain fog
- Exhaustion
- Getting run down and sick
- Digestive issues
- Feeling emotionally flat and just wanting to watch TV
Sound familiar? This isn't a character flaw - it's your body trying to restore balance.
A Simple Experiment: The Activity Color Code
Want to understand your own patterns better? Try this two-week experiment:
Track your activities using this color system:
🔴 Red Activities: High demand on your body or mind
- Examples: Intense exercise, difficult conversations, complex problem-solving, deadlines
- Not necessarily "bad," but they ask a lot of you
🟡 Amber Activities: Moderate demands
- Examples: Regular exercise, routine work tasks, social gatherings
- Manageable but still require energy
🟢 Green Activities: Neutral or replenishing
- Examples: Gentle walks, enjoyable hobbies, relaxing with loved ones, meditation
- These restore rather than drain you
Important note: The same activity can be different colors depending on how you're feeling. A work meeting might be amber when you're rested, but red when you're already stressed.
The Key Insight
You don't need to dramatically change your life. Sometimes just becoming aware of these patterns is enough to naturally start balancing things better.
Pay attention to:
- What you automatically expect your week should look like versus what it actually looks like
- How different activities feel in your body, not just your mind
- Whether you have enough green activities to balance the red ones
Coming Full Circle
Now, think back to that first question: How has your week been? Has your answer changed after reading this?
The goal isn't to eliminate all challenging activities - that's neither possible nor healthy. Instead, it's about becoming more aware of the hidden ways we spend our energy, and consciously creating more balance between activities that drain us and those that restore us.
Your nervous system will thank you for it.
Keywords: energy, wellbeing, pacing, reflection, balance, holistic, psychology, mental health, health psychology
